A Song Inspired by Snores

One night while I was in Washington I couldn't sleep due to the snoring of my Mum; So I went out to the living room and spent some time with God. Now and then i write my prayers as i sing them. I did so that night and I thought I'd share.

Let us be the clay in Your hands
mold us shape us to carry out Your plans

Your name shines from the mountain tops
the sky paints Your love for us
we shout Your name
let our voices strain
till we can sing no longer
but our hearts carry on shouting for You
for You to come
to sweep through this place
free us with Your grace

uncover our eyes
unchain all our souls
we want to see You
to see Your face
to see Your name lifted high
we want to glorify You

Let all our tears fall
we crumble to our knees
and accept Your humble crown
to Your cross we crawl
and lay all our sin down
and pick up Your grace
we serve the One who gave it all
let people wonder why we stand so tall

He is our joy
He is grace
He is the one who took my place
He paid my debt
He is beside me day after day
He is the only way home

Long Story Short

Allot has happened in the past month, so sorry i haven't posted anything in awhile. I was flooded with babysitting jobs and used my spare time by spending it with God, family, and friends. Then my grandma called and informed us that what the doctors had originally thought was pneumonia turned out to be cancer. It was already to far along to do anything and was told she has 6 to 9 months to live. But i still believe in miracles and even if God does not heal her on earth he will gibe her a new body in heaven. She has already begun to anticipate heaven and would be perfectly happy either way. She continues to be a constant inspiration to me even while she suffers. Please be praying for her. She's a woman who had poured out her life to serve God and bring people to him. My Mom and I took a trip to see her for a week in Washington and I got to make some memories with her as well as see some old friends. The following are the highlights of my trip:

Above and below are the Lancaster girls. Beautiful sisters that love God and love people. They come from a huge family of ten children. They are all very friendly so i quickly felt like i was one of the family.


This is my old Sunday school teacher. She has been through allot but she has way more smile lines than frown lines and she continues to bring comfort and frank truth to everyone she meets.

Karyn is a childhood friend of mine. She has grown up to be a beautiful lady tattoos and all.

Kayla is another childhood friend and is one of my many friends that is adopted. I look forward to being able to change the lives of kids like her when I have a family of my own.

These are members of the Henrickson brood. Ruth and Rose are sweet as sunshine dipped in honey. I'm excited to see them grow into amazing women of God.
I got to go to my favorite pizza place with these really awesome people. Diana (lovely lady on the right) is a girl i've known since i was five. She just got married to the fella next to her who is also rather awesome. The blur Is a newer friend that was in Diana's wedding party last year. The blur's name is Zac and he is a member of a family of ten that is stuffed with awesomeness.

There were allot more people i got to see that i just didn't get pictures with. One big highlight was my uncle. I have very few memories of him but I got to see him again for the first time in 5 years. He is not a christian but over the week that i was there I noticed changes in him and on Sunday he told us he was coming to church with us. He cried during the service and I prayed hard the whole time. Please pray the God will get a firm grip on him, and that he will continue to use me to be a light to him.
The whole trip was amazing. i was always tired by the end of the day but it was the good kind of tired where your exhausted by all the hugs and chats and laughter with good friends. And the good times keep on coming. I even got to go to my old church and fill up my hug-o-meter, and hear an amazing sermon from a pastor that I've known my whole life who continues to help me understand more and more about the grace of God, and how it is free but not cheap.

Why?

This is something i wrote a few months ago during my devotional time. I have a habit of arguing with myself so i can see both sides of something. I like being able to see things from another persons view. This is a good example of what goes on inside my head:

Sunday Oct. 10 2010

I had a thought the other night. It was that I don't like being God's pawn.
The idea that God was using me to accomplish his plan bothered me. I thought it wasn't fair that whatever we did had no effect on God's plan because he already knew what we would do and has already taken that into account. What happened to "free will"? I don't like feeling like a slave or prisoner. We were created to serve. Everyone has a god and that god they must serve. Why? Why must we always serve? Why can't we just be, without serving anything? Because if we had nothing to serve there would be no point to our existence.

I was made to serve, to be a slave to my heart. For whatever it chooses to serve that thing will become my master. Why is God willing to be a master to something so broken? Why am i so loved? My mind can get filled with everything but God. I hide him in the closet of my heart under books titled: Work, Fun, Family, Church, Dreams, and Busy. There he sits covered in the dust that is my thoughts. It's hard to see him beneath it all. He looks up at me with tear filled eyes and whispers "I would die for you again if that is what it took for you to see me and know me again." His words disturb the dust, and when it settles i see his hand, a hole in it's palm, stretched towards me. I take a step back and the door closes. "This really needs to be taken care of." I say as i walk down the hall. Then i hear his voice from under the door saying "i love you." That is all.

I choose to be a slave Christ because he is the only perfect master.

Romans 6:12-23

¹² Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires. ¹³ Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. ¹⁴ Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.

¹⁵ Well then, since God’s grace has set us free from the law, does that mean we can go on sinning? Of course not! ¹⁶ Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. ¹⁷ Thank God! Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you. ¹⁸ Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living.

¹⁹ Because of the weakness of your human nature, I am using the illustration of slavery to help you understand all this. Previously, you let yourselves be slaves to impurity and lawlessness, which led ever deeper into sin. Now you must give yourselves to be slaves to righteous living so that you will become holy.

²⁰ When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the obligation to do right. ²¹ And what was the result? You are now ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom. ²² But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life. ²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord

God of Wonders

O Lord, our Lord, your majestic name fills the earth!

Your glory is higher than the heavens. You have taught children and infants to tell of your strength, silencing your enemies and all who oppose you.

When I look into the night sky and see the work of your fingers- the moon and stars you set in place- what are mere mortals that you should think of them, human beings that you should care for them?

Yet you make them only a little lower than God, and crown them with glory and honor. You gave them charge of everything you made, putting all things under their authority- the flocks and herds and all the wild animals, the birds of the air and fish of the sea, and everything that swims in the ocean currents.

O Lord, our Lord, your majestic name fills the earth!

-psalms 8

Flame: tonight

I once met this dude..

So a couple days ago i met a new Christian. By that i mean he has only been a Christian for about two years. When he started telling me about how much passion God had put in his heart for this generation and how much he wanted to save the lost, it stared stirring me up, getting me more and more excited to go out and conquer the world with grace and love. Being around "new believers" actually lends strength to those who have known Christ for a long time. Seeing the fresh joy that comes with being born again refreshes the joy and efforts of others.
One of my favorite quotes is by A. W. Tozer. He said "What comes to minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us. Worship is pure or base as the worshiper entertains high or low thoughts of God. For this reason the gravest question before the church today is God himself. And the most portentous fact about any man is not what he may at a given time, may say or do, but what he in his deepest heart conceives about God."
What we believe about God is what matters most in our lives. If we believe God poured out his life because he loved us then we will turn around and pour out that same love on others. the other important thing is grace. I'm still just beginning to grasp it, and i'll never fully understand. We would be fools to think we can limit God to something we are capable of comprehending. He is so vast that i feel tiny thinking about one part of who he is.

He almost seems mad at times. To think that he would give up his son because he LOVED us? Why us? God does not need us, but desperately loves us. We desperately need God, but do not always want him. He cannot wait for the day we join him forever. And we wonder how much we need to do for him to get by.
He is an amazing, grace giving, powerful, unfathomable, God who loves us more that everything and everyone put together. I can never understand him, or love him as much as he loves me, so all i can do is pour out my life as one long and loud song of worship for the whole world to hear.
We must also have faith, or we will never see what God has for us through all of the suffering and hurt in the fallen world around us. We can make a difference. I heard a man say once that he asked God "God, why don't you do something about all this suffering in the world?" and God said "I did, i made you". We are Gods hands and feet, and just so long as we do all for his glory, keeping our eyes on him, he can help us reach those around us, and those all around the world, to tell them of his grace. We worship a God that we cannot exaggerate. We have a joy set before us to fight the good fight and we have the strength, in God, to succeed. My dad said once "The world tells us to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, but the gospel says, you don't have any bootstraps!" God is the only one who can give us the strength to do his will. Opportunities multiply as they are seized. So do whatever God puts in your heart to do, rely on him, and teach others to do the same, and perhaps we'll get a little bit of heaven on earth.

Who Shall Save Us From Ourselves?

As i contemplate the seasons
i see suffering without end
the tides rage for no reason

wisdom passes to daughter and son
On each other they must depend
to survive the brutal seasons

Vows are broken, families undone
we have no life left to spend
to live there is no reason

We have nothing left to rely on
there is no one left to send
to save us from this season

at my life's rope is aimed a gun
my death sentence has been penned
Why? There is no reason

The war is over. No one has won
There is no one left to mend
the ruin of this season
for which there was no reason